Happy 4th of July πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έβ€οΈ

I’m obsessed with the United States of America. I love the USA–I love the people, I love the scenery, I love the smell, I even love that President of ours that can’t seem to control himself on Twitter. I mean it when I say it, I’m freakin’ proud to be an American.

Like the basic bitch I am, I’m going to wear an American flag bikini and drink vodka cranberries on the beach. 

I bleed red, white, and blue. Happy 4th of July. 

Cheers! 

Blaire πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸŒŸ

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How to make jello-shots

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If you don’t know already, I suck at cooking. I think it is because instructions on the side of food items are not specific enough. I need to know all about cooking including how to turn on the oven. Growing up, we simply weren’t in the kitchen learning how to cook. I didn’t have a mommy and daddy that were around enough to teach me the small stuff.

Naturally, when I go to parties, I bring Jell-O shots. First of all, I am good at making them. I know you’re smiling right now because you realize that I’m good at it because I am a low-key alcoholic. But I will be darned, I can make some freaking Jell-O shots. Here’s how:

1) Go to your local liquor store and buy yourself inexpensive vodka. Make sure the vodka is flavored. Vodka that isn’t flavored will cause your jello to taste super nasty, trust me. I typically use Burnett’s. It is inexpensive and comes in every flavor imaginable. You might be thinking that Burnett’s is pretty trashy of me, but have you ever had a terrible night while drinking Burnett’s? Exactly. Burnett’s is never a bad idea, just causes a slight hangover when consumed in large amounts.

2) Go to the grocery store and buy several flavors of Jell-O. Yes, you can get the generic storebrand for under $.50. The Jell-O flavor really doesn’t matter. If you were going to beat yourself up over flavor, focus on the flavor of the vodka not the Jell-O. You will also need to buy small cups to put the finished product in. You can snag a bag of “Diamond Mini Cups Multi-Purpose” from your local Walmart. That’s what I use. (See above picture)

3) Boil 1 cup of water. Stir in one package of Jell-O mix once the water is to a boil. Continue stirring and remove the water from the heat. Make sure that the Jell-O is not sticking to the bottom of the pan. If the Jell-O sticks to the bottom, it will not allow the most flavor– be careful with that. Stir for exactly 2 minutes.

4) Pour in 1 cup of flavored vodka. Continue stirring for another minute or so.

5) Using a large spoon, scoop out the jello liquid and put it into the little containers.

6) Place all containers in the refrigerator overnight.

7) Serve at party and come off super fun and flirty. If you want to get fancy, serve with whip cream on top.

Jello-shots are the extentΒ of my cooking.

Love always,

Blaire 🌷

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