Beautiful Facebook.

Facebook is the best thing ever invented. I, no joke, canceled my cable tv subscription because Facebook was filling all my drama desires indefinitely.

Luckily for me, I have a unique group of Facebook friends. Every single one of them providing me with a little something to get me through the workweek. There’s my religious family for starters. They love to throw out comments about the devilish ways the other family members are living. I contemplate deleting them on a regular basis, but can’t bring myself to actually give up my first row seat to the lashes they toss at one another.

Then we have our Facebook friends that just can’t put the party life behind them. No judgment, of course, I get it (way more than I should). I’m just saying, people should be more clever with their drunken Facebook posts. Screenshots are a thing now, didn’t you know? People like myself (that lack a real life) take screenshots of all wild posts for safe keeping. That way, when sobriety hits and you press delete I still have those memories. And who could forget our Facebook friends that do not recognize that Facebook isn’t Twitter. I do not need a play by play commentary of the football game that the world is watching on television. Do us all a favor and get a Twitter. As a fellow Facebook friend, I do not care what you thought about that fumble or the referee’s inability to make a worthwhile call.

Hands down though, my absolute favorite Facebook friends are my friends that use Facebook as a diary. I sit front row with a big bowl of popcorn (covered in salt) and spend hours reading each sappy, feeling-ridden post. By all means, call out your baby daddy for his wrongdoings, tell your boss what a moron he really is, and take it upon yourself to judge the way others are living. I can’t get enough. I’ve found myself bursting out laughing in my room alone on multiple occasions reading your Facebook diary. I thank you for that.

Facebook friends, keep being you. Don’t change, don’t edit your posts, and certainly don’t think twice before commenting on a status you feel passionate about.

You are the real winners,



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