I have a healthy baby boy! And, well, that’s the only positive thing about my birth story— the rest was straight up shit.
I scheduled an elective induction for a Monday morning. I was 39.5 weeks and oh so ready to never be pregnant again.
During the cervical check I was exactly 0 centimeters dilated. How very helpful, body. Thanks.
The nurse let us know that this would take a long time… likely days. I told my husband to run a few errands because this is a slow process. Then while he’s gone BAM my water breaks.
Your water breaking isn’t like the movies. It doesn’t happen all at once. Just kinda feels like you’re suddenly uncontrollably peeing everywhere. My water broke in sections. The water just kept flowing and flowing every time I moved. I would think it was all out and then Niagara Falls would start again. I’m not sure how my body even housed that much water. Was I acting very dramatic? Absolutely. This was a full ass experience that I assure you I was not ready for.
I’m guessing I’ve seen far too many movies because I thought my water breaking meant the baby was going to pop out soon. FALSE.
I labored for hours and hours and hours. Finally after over 24 hours I was 9 centimeters dilated. Go me. Almost pushing time. I might survive this.
FALSE. I now have a fever. My fever is climbing. The epidural isn’t working. Am I dying?
A nurse comes in and tells me there’s an infection. They need to take the baby now because the infection is spreading. Ok, agreed to c-section. My baby and I need to survive this. We’ve come this far.
In less than 10 minutes I’m on an operating table. I’m shaking violently. I can’t stop shaking. Why am I shaking? The procedure starts. I’m not doing well. I’m shaking. Oh no, here comes vomit. Nurses are asking if I’m ok. I am not ok. I need help. Doctor starts yelling that there’s too much bleeding. What’s going on? My baby is born. I can hear him crying. I can’t see or touch my baby because I am not doing well. Too much bleeding the doctor keeps saying. We must stop the bleeding. My husband is escorted out of the room. Is this the end? A horrible, sick 9 months and then I die? I never get to experience motherhood. I never get to see my baby. This is some shit.
I start praying. Please God let me live. I’m not perfect but damn this is shit.
Doctor starts talking to the nurse about a hike he went on last fall. A hike? This is the conversation choice? Am I dead?
WAIT. I survived. Doctor isn’t concerned anymore, he’s having pleasant conversation. An update would be great, but I’m still doing very very bad.
A nurse asks me if I want something to help calm me. I say yes. She tells me it would make me so I wouldn’t remember the next 8 hours. Is she for real? No, I don’t want that. I need to meet my baby and remember it. Also, is that legal? (Still curious on what drug that was)
Finally I’m wheeled back to my room. My baby is there and he’s perfect. All is good although I’m still feeling super rough.
I know one thing for sure. I will never, ever have another baby. One and done.