King-Sized Bed💞

The other day my husband and I took the ultimate plunge. We bought a king-sized bed. Honestly, it was the best thing I’ve done all year.

It’s beautiful, wonderful, out-of-this-world liberating to have a king-sized bed.

Yesterday, I️ literally thought my husband left the bed. The bed is so big that I legit lost him. I jumped up because I was startled he had left. When I went to get up, I found him sound asleep.

Y’all, go get a king-sized bed.

I’ll be in dreamland,

Blaire ❤️

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Nervous Talking 🙃

Guys, I have a problem. Whenever I get nervous I start talking, a lot. SO much talking. I’ll just go on and on and on about everything & nothing at the same time. 

I also have an issue with getting hyper. It’s like the longer I speak, the more hyper I get. Whenever I meet new people they always comment on my energy and positivity. If only they knew that I wish I could just quietly say “nice to meet you, I’m Blaire” and have a normal, short convo. Instead, I find myself hyperly reviewing my entire life story.

Thinking calm thoughts, 

Blaire 🎀💗

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Leaving Costa Rica 🐒🦋

We arrived at the airport to leave. I stood there reminiscing about all the fun I had on this trip. One of my absolute favorite trips. Plus, this airport was nice, it even had air conditioning. The airport was going to be another thing to add to my list of awesome things about Costa Rica. I felt comfortable and super relaxed as I smiled at the memories of two relaxing weeks. 

I felt something crawling on my leg, but I brushed it off. I thought it was probably a fly, maybe a mosquito. I continued to fill out my paperwork for customs while admiring the airport. Then I felt it. There was something crawling up my shorts and it was bigger than a fly or mosquito. 

I panic, of course. It’s me, I panic about everything. So, there I am. I’m in the airport screaming and slapping my own bottom. Then the pain hits. I’m clenching my butt with my hand and yelling “OH MY GOD I AM BEING STUNG”. 

Of course I’m simultaneously showing the entire airport all my goodies. People are speaking to me in Spanish and laughing. Wish i could’ve laughed too but my Spanish isn’t strong enough and my ass was on fire. I simply couldn’t unclench my butt long enough to find anything even a little bit funny.

My butt starts swelling significantly. We cannot get a clear answer from anyone on what stung me because our Spanish was useless in Costa Rica. 

I rubbed some random cream on my butt in front of the whole world and then I boarded the plane to the USA. 

My life has just never been dull. Blaire 👒

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Locked out of my house 💅🏼

Today I got locked out of my own house. Ya see, I got excited because I was going to get a pedicure. Naturally, I ran out of the house and didn’t even think twice about the keys needed to drive the car to the nail place. I realize almost immediately what I had done. I sat for a minute on the porch holding my purse and phone and really pondered my options. I could break a window, but that just seemed dramatic. So I decided to search the outside of the house for our old spare key. During this process my feet got covered with mud. Whatever though, needed to get into the house. 

Failed to get into the house. Sat on the porch. Sat on the porch some more. Called my friend and told her to pick me up. She shows up, we drive around. I call my husband and told him to leave work to let me in the house. He does. 

Long story short, we found the keys. They were in the purse I was holding the entire time. 

Typical Blaire, I know. 

Oh, and when I finally got to the nail place, I put my feet into the water and the water turned brown. Darn mud. 

Whyyyyyyyy. 

Love you. 

❤️ Blaire 

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Happy 4th of July 🇺🇸❤️

I’m obsessed with the United States of America. I love the USA–I love the people, I love the scenery, I love the smell, I even love that President of ours that can’t seem to control himself on Twitter. I mean it when I say it, I’m freakin’ proud to be an American.

Like the basic bitch I am, I’m going to wear an American flag bikini and drink vodka cranberries on the beach. 

I bleed red, white, and blue. Happy 4th of July. 

Cheers! 

Blaire 🇺🇸🌟

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